I have had this identity probably since 2nd grade of the pretty, smart, fat girl. Was I fat at 7 years old? No, I was not. That was the time where I started to hate the way I looked. I had a friend visiting with her two kids. As her kids were playing with my son, she began to tell me how her beautiful daughter was telling her that she doesn't feel. I felt this pain in my heart. I remember those feelings and this little girl is only 6 and in 1st grade.
I have carried this identity around since I was 7 years old. I had feelings of being fat when I wasn't. I had feelings of being ugly when I wasn't. I have carried around this identity for 31 years and this is the year I plan to leave that identity behind. Does that mean I am going to be skinny and have this dreamy body that I have always envisioned...probably not. Will I be the healthiest version of myself? Absolutely! I have made a promise to myself to stop looking in the mirror and hating who I see. Hating this body that I have. Hating the feeling that every time I walk into a room, sit in a car, walk into a meeting that everyone is staring at me...as the "wow she is so pretty if she just wasn't fat." I am over being the girl who is pretty but......she is fat! This is the year that I am the average girl. I am healthy. I am happy. I am embracing the future and leaving behind what has followed me for 31 years... Follow my journey on becoming the best version of me...
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AuthorJust a successful divorced mom and who has had many successes and always struggled with my relationship with food. This is my online journal to keep me accountable as I break up with food. Archives
February 2020
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